For months, we’ve been living a trauma of unprecedented scope—a global pandemic. In the broadest terms, it has meant living with worry and uncertainty, and the anxiety that can bring. In our daily lives, it has meant medical emergencies and possible loss of life among our loved ones; job insecurity and the financial concerns that accompany it; missed weddings, funerals, proms, and graduations, and more.
And as if that isn’t enough, our country is now experiencing widespread outpourings of deep feelings of grief and rage in response to extremely traumatizing racial injustices. All of this has conspired to challenge the feelings and temperaments of even the most zen among us. Have you noticed that some people are able to remain calm and optimistic in the midst of all this adversity, while others fall into despair?
People who are resilient can more easily navigate and recover from problems and disappointments. In the face of life’s challenges, they find ways to adapt. This doesn’t mean that they experience any less distress, anxiety, or fear than others, but it does mean they address difficulties in ways that foster strength and personal growth, often emerging stronger than they were before the crisis.
The Value of Resilience
Even amidst crises that seem thoroughly unimaginable, resilient people not only survive, but they thrive. Conversely, the same circumstances may cause those who lack resilience to become overwhelmed, dwell incessantly on problems, or adopt unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as chronic drinking or overeating. Because such individuals recover from setbacks more slowly, they may experience more psychological distress.
10 Ways to Build Resilience
According to research, the good news is people who are not resilient by nature can learn to be. Here are 10 techniques for engendering your own resilience:
Focus on what you can control. When facing a crisis or problem, rather than being overcome by events that feel far beyond your control, try to address those aspects of the situation that are in your control. Though a situation may seems dire, taking even small steps to move beyond it can help you experience some sense of control, which is one of the characteristics of resilience.
Reframe your thoughts. Resilient people see negative situations realistically, but without blaming or brooding over what they can’t change. Focusing on the positive actions you can take will help you overcome a negative mindset.
Ground yourself in a sense of purpose and meaning. When faced with a crisis or tragedy, finding a sense of purpose can play an important role in your recovery. By giving you a compelling ‘Why’ it helps you tap into reserves of strength, courage, creativity and resilience that may otherwise lay dormant. Ask yourself where your life is calling you to be more courageous in service of a nobler cause. Then move in that direction. As Nietzsche wrote, ‘He who has a why can endure any how.’
Build positive beliefs in your abilities. Research reveals that self-esteem plays an important role in coping with stress and recovering from difficult events. Regularly remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments. If your self-talk turns negative, practice replacing it immediately with positive messages, such as, "I can do this.”
Be optimistic. Staying optimistic during dark periods can be difficult, but an important part of resiliency is maintaining a hopeful outlook. Recognize that setbacks are temporary, and you have the skills and abilities to overcome the challenges you face.
Develop a strong social network. Confidantes are crucial. Although talking with a friend or loved one won’t miraculously make your troubles disappear, it will allow you to share your feelings, obtain support, get positive feedback, and even identify potential solutions.
Embrace change. By learning how to be more adaptable and flexible, you'll be better equipped to respond with resilience. Create a shift in mentality that allows you to experience change as an opportunity to grow and learn, rather than as a setback. Consider replacing frightening thoughts with thoughts such as: “This change is scary, but it will be okay,” or “Life is full of changes and it just means I’m growing.”
Nurture yourself. When you're stressed, it’s easy to neglect your own needs by focusing on others’ needs, eating unhealthfully, ignoring exercise, or not getting enough sleep. But during stressful times, it’s more important than ever to take care of yourself and make time for activities that you enjoy, which will boost your overall health and resilience.
Take action to solve problems. Procrastination can be very damaging. Even if a simple solution isn’t obvious, try to do something that could move toward enhancing your situation; any movement will decrease stress. Rather than being discouraged by how much might still need to be accomplished, focus on your progress thus far.
Keep working on your skills. Resilience may take time and practice to build, so don't get discouraged if you continue to struggle with adverse circumstances. Focus on practicing these skills, while also remembering to draw on your many strengths.